Understanding Low Self-Esteem Through A Psychodynamic Lens
Low self-esteem is not always obvious to ourselves. We can get so used to feeling the way we do that it becomes normal, slipping under our radar until it affects relationships, work or our general sense of well-being.
It can show up as self-doubt, perfectionism, people pleasing or a persistent sense of not being enough. You may have tried approaches like positive affirmations or mindset shifts. These can help in the short-term, but many people find themselves sliding back into old patterns – which is completely understandable.
Psychodynamic counselling goes deeper – instead of asking you to change your thoughts, it asks ‘where did this belief about myself come from?’
I will explore how a psychodynamic approach can help uncover the hidden roots of low self-esteem and how therapy can support lasting change.
What is Low Self-Esteem Really About?
From a psychodynamic perspective low self-esteem often stems from early relational experiences – perhaps not feeling seen, safe or valued as a child, or internalising critical messages from parents or carers, or other influential figures in our lives.
Its not just about confidence – its about core beliefs, such as:
- I’m not good enough
- I don’t deserve success or love
- I always mess things up
These beliefs are often unconscious “scripts” that can shape how we relate to others and ourselves, and may also open the door to challenges such as depression, anxiety and difficulties with boundaries.
How Psychodynamic Counselling Can Help?
Psychodynamic therapy gently explores how past experiences are still influencing present feelings and behaviours. Rather than simply challenging negative thoughts, we seek to understand their origins. This insight often brings relief, clarity and a shift in how we see ourselves – creating the freedom to live differently.
In psychodynamic therapy, we might explore:
- memories where you felt criticised, rejected or overlooked
- emotional tones of early relationships
- how your inner critic formed and what it may be trying to protect you from
By brining these patterns into awareness, clients often find they:
- Feel more self-compassion
- Feel more secure in who they are
- Are less driven by perfectionism or fear of failure
Psychodynamic therapy is not about quick fixes – but about substantial lasting internal changes.
Counselling in St Albans, Hertfordshire
If you are tired of holding yourself to impossible standards or feeling like you are never quite enough, therapy can help. We can begin to understand those unconscious patterns that are directing your life. I offer a non-judgemental space where all that you bring is thought about – and we can work together to uncover your strengths, values and sense of self.
I offer psychodynamic counselling in St Albans, both online and in person.
Book a free initial 50 minute session to see how therapy could help you.
Category: All blogs, Low Self-Esteem